THE DIVERGED PATH- GENERATION GAP

“A father says a lot of words to his son in his lifetime, and those words receive meaning when son take father’s chair”

Every Indian Mom would have told the phrase, “may be right now you are not finding any logic in my saying, but one day you will realize”, to their children at some point of life.  You, who is reading this right now, I do not know who you are and what generation you belong to but I am sure of it that as you will scroll through the lines, you will find this article quite relatable with your life's moments. 

If you are a parent, then go through the "Child desire" column and read what they really want. If you are the “light of someone's eye”, (child), then please have a look at what your Parents are going through, in the below paragraph. We have tried to keep the dish of Every mouth in a single plate.

Parents Lifestyle and Desire

Parents after getting exhausted of a whole day of work come home, to relax by seeing the happy faces of their children. Their mind wants to exchange some words with their family, but seeing their child busy in their own world, they feel shy and physically worn out to initiate a conversation. Then they eat, watch some tv programs or phone to distract themselves and then retard to bed to end another day, with no words to their desire. This, is the story of almost every house these days.

Now, after a duration of time Parents feel you are habituated of this silent lifestyle, but still on weekends, when they are able to crack some interesting conversation with their children, deep inside they really feel good, and have a sense of something filling them up. Believe me this urge to say more and listen more from their children is never going to stop, not until the last breath for a Parent. No matter how old you grow, there is someone who really wants to listen to you.

“Between one generation to another, there is always something left to talk”

Child Lifestyle and Desire

Child have their own tiny world, they want to fulfill their hobbies, dreams and have friends. They want their parents to understand their desire, feel proud on them on their version of achievements, not the society, They want to have some talks on their own plan rather than just a Question answer round on their academic or behavior. 

After fighting with the whole world and their situation, when they come home, in starting phases they want to share with their parents, their thoughts on condition, but only if their parents don’t judge them and their future reactions does not depend on it. 

Every child wants to be the best child in world 🌏 for their parents. But they know that their parents don’t look in the way, they look into his world because of their dream to give their children a better future. They feel misconstrued, they find their place among friends as they value their thought, and accept them.

In this whole process of becoming a better version of star for their parents, they lose the believe that their and their Parent's ideology meet to a common point. We children also feel vacant sometimes, when whole world is with them but not their parents happiness.

“Ego shattered the platform, where two generation can meet”

What is  Generation gap?

The Difference of behavior and attitudes between people of different time frame, era or generation, which is leading to a lack of communication, liking the same work or things and understanding. They have very fewer common grounds of topics to discuss apart from the professional careers, aim and plan towards life, which eventually creates a void in their relationship, that void or vacancy, in which they are connected by blood but not by unbound exchange of ideas, feelings and talks, doing which makes a person feel light, that gap is called Generation Gap.

Here I have tried to simply it further with a poem:

In front of white hair people, comes a black hair dude,

they asked how your studies is going, and also eat the food.

Its fine, I got 9 out 9 , now can we talk on something else,

like stories of raging bells or gaming cells.

Shut up, just eat and go, and yes don’t be rude,

In front of white hair people, comes a black hair dude.

 

Time passes like a bullet shoot,

boys become men, everyone expecting their investment fruit.

Now he is not the child of his mother lap,

he understands the generation gap.

When he put his definition of right and wrong,

his parents say, “ your mind has gone”.

With time no exchange of meaningful talk,

parents bet on their horses’ stock.

The tongue pen of mouth put his cap,

this widen the generation gap.

Why Generation gap Occur?

Parents have their own beliefs and experiences about way of living, methods to judge people and course of actions to handle situations and with passing time parents become rigid that, those are only ways, they stop themselves to accept the changes.

They do not discuss following questions with their kids:

• How life is going on?
• How are you?
• Is something bothering you?
• How did your day go?

They usually don’t laugh together; one has the habit of judging and another has the fear of getting judged. One want best for their child, another wants to portray them that their investment is giving fruit," their money is not going in vain”. Both set their limit of interference and allowance to question and share. Their ideology and ego do not allow them to cross their path, these two factors widen the generation gap more.

Parent's point of view

Parents want best for their children, they give their sweat and blood to nurture them, they invest their whole youth to raise the young ones. Parents invest money in their education which open the new path for learning and a better future for their children.

A Parent give everything to his children, whats good for them, except their Freedom. Parents want to squeeze their whole life experience like a juice in a cup and expect that their children drink that all and then become what they want him to become, like them. This expectation is core of the problems. They forget that, they have learnt those lessons when they walked the life journey by themselves, The ups and downs they faced, made them what they are.

"Today, the new generation which are nurtured by new roots, water and breaths the changed air, they will have their own hills and oceans in life, and then they will find their new meaning from it."

Parents fear that their child might get lost in the journey, as he is young and rash. May be, letting him make his own decision is not correct. It would be completely a different story if parents be like the Sarathi like Krishna, who guided Arjuna in what is wrong and what is right and then let Arjuna make the decision. Whatever he chose, Krishna stayed with him throughout.

Parents believe that if someone respects you, he or she will follow you. When their young ones grow and develop their own sense of justice, of right and wrong, which does not goes hand in hand with their's (parents'), they feel betrayed. They think there whole life's investment has gone in vain, their child does not value them, he/she will not hold their hand in old times. He/She will not carry their family tradition and cultural hierarchy to the next generation.

Parents do not accept their children's ideology, dreams and perspective towards world as they feel they are too naive. Their care don't lets them accept that their children are growing and starting to explore people, things and learning with their own eyes.

Children's Point of View

Children 🧒 want their parents' to understand that they really respect them for whatever they did for them. Even in pain they remember their parents first, as they trust that they are the only people who will help them without having personal benefit. They are thankful for the teaching they have received from their family culture which plays a great role in making them a good person. But their perspective of looking at life and situation should not be misinterpreted .

What they think is equally important as their parents' ideology. They also feel sad when their parents do not support their ideas or their thinking is getting effected towards them due to the Society fabricated margins of judgments on academics and achievements.

Children also understand the meaning of education and admire the efforts their parents put to fulfill their basic needs, but as their friends praises them even on low marks and their parents do not, they feel a sense of denial. Children will share anything with their parents if these condition are kept in check:

• They can see the right or wrong, happiness and sadness with their definition, not their parents'.
• They wont judge them and their efforts.
• Their response to the scenario should not affect their future exchange of action on things.

But as both are rigid, one due to his experience and knowledge on things and another who is part of  the new change and the boundaries, he feel set by his parents, on allowance to share, makes him to find someone else of his age who can understand him and accept him, the way he is.

Parents need to understand in due course of time, if this continues, their children will start to believe that there can never be a face to face conversation between them. So they will move out to make their own family with like minded people and this cycle will continue.

Consequences of generation gap

“We cannot believe neither have ever imagined, our child could do this”, this s a common phrase when their child does something unexpected. But have Parents ever think why did it surprise them or why did not they see it coming? Because they never talked.

Demerits of generation gap

• Some children develop bad practices and surroundings to find a place where they are accepted.
• They go into trauma, like depression, stress, sometimes develop some phobias, and get emotionally unstable
• Honor killing and judgmental mindset is one of the prominent effect of generation gap.
• Hard to accept the change in the society as in their home, no one discusses it.
• People blackmail these children to do wrong things, otherwise they will tell their parents.
• Will to accept wrong, as they know there is always a consequence for it.
• On accepting fathers' thought process, self-exploration stops and one bad outcome leads them to blame their parents for the consequences.
• Have less communicative skills and not able to express their feeling and ideas clearly.

Let the consequences be prevented before it materializes. Let your child ask the question and believe me one day he will make you proud and you will thank this blog for that. At the same time if you are a child, then try to understand the parents' psychology and try to talk to them.

Solution to narrow the Generation Gap:

First of all we need to understand no one is at fault here, they both are just different and being different does not mean anyone is wrong. It's just the ideology, belief and perspective differences. It can be solved by creating a road where they both can walk together, by enjoying the journey with some meaningful talk which will result into some experience exchange between them.

If this is done then both will learn somewhat of past and new generation's perspective and belief and develop a feeling that both are with each other in every hard and good time.

Some recommended solutions:

• Let your children ask the question. Since birth till he does not gain his own consciousness, it will allow him see the world with your perspective as well as his mind develop in a more better way.
• Keep an eye on things he likes to do, hobbies, interest and what he really wants to pursue. Ask him to do what he loves and love what he does.
• Involve him in small decisions of the house, make him believe that you accept him and his ideas.
• Always guide him what to do but never tell your decision to what he have to do, let him make the choice and stay with him in the journey of choices he makes, he needs you.
• Share your thoughts from time to time, it’s a give and take process. If you share, he will also.
• Never let your care, trammel your children. Never decide your child's achievements on societal margin scale.
• Children, try to take up the initiative to talk to your parents and make them understand your ideology.
• Don't quit on them as they will never quit on you.
• Find time from your daily schedule to strike a conversation with them. Share your day. At first this might be difficult but with time they will accept it. 
• Its your blood and you know better, so stay with each other and talk. Everything can be solved with a conversation. That’s the power of words, it opens your mind and heart. Expect less and accept more, it will direct your relation to a better path.

“A family is a family, who eat together, talk together and in hard times walk together”